Difficult for an asian guy to date a non-asian girl

I used to be very confident about solving probability questions. Given a probability question, there was no doubt in my mind that I could solve it. It was just a matter of how long it'll take for me to come up with the solution. However over the past two months, I realized that the illusion was a result of my lack of exposure to tough questions.

Don't get me wrong, I am still pretty proud of my ability to solve probability questions. It's just that I realize that I am not such a hot shot after all. I'm actually just a young punk who really should show more respect to those who have a wealth of experience in dealing with a wide range of really tough probability problems.

Another area in which I like to talk a lot about is dating. Btw, I am only talking about flirting and dating... Relationship is a whole different matter which I definitely do not have enough experience to talk about (as most of my friends have correctly pointed out). Anyway the thing is that a topic has came up several times over conversation and I just wanna air my views on it.

A lot of people (both guys and girls) have been telling me that it is very difficult for an asian guy to date a non-asian girl. To be honest, I dun really think that it is that difficult, but then again I hope that I am not underestimating the difficulty (as in my case with probability problems) of the task due to my inexperience. I really don't recall ever going out with a non-asian girl.

But in my opinion, the problem lies in the fact that people are too focused on the goal and they tend to neglect the process. It takes time to ask a girl out and even more so when she is of a different culture and background. Some people appear like they are on kamikaze missions. Do or die. And I would think that the chances of such an approach when courting someone of a different culture is very very low.

Anyway, here's my "advice":

1. Get to know the culture. If you never even had a female caucasian friend before, what makes you think that you are going to be successful in asking one out. If you wanna ask a white girl out, please make sure that you are able to comfortably interact with one first. One thing that I admire about some of the caucasian guys that I have seen is that they really put in time and effort to learn more about our culture. Haha... although some of them spoil it by being too upfront with their intentions to date an asian lady. Trust me, it's not just the asian guys that have it tough. Caucasian guys who are targetting non-SPG girls actually face an uphill task as well. Whoever said that dating was easy... I only said that it is fun :)

2. Start slow. This advice is universal. The best way to be rejected is to show too much interest at the start. Notice that I say "too much". See, if the girl likes you, then it's ok to show some interest at the start. But notice that if it gets overwhelming, then you'll still scare the poor girl. The issue here is that in general a non-asian girl will never see an asian guy in that way in the beginning. And you can't really blame them. People will tend to be more cautious when it's someone who is of a different background. Or perhaps it's just that they never thought about it before. So dun bet on a non-asian girl falling in love with you on first sight. My advice is to start really slow. Dun think about picking up someone in the bar, but rather develop a friendship with someone in your class, neighborhood etc...

3. Flirt. Ok, once you know the person better, then you can look for opportunities to flirt with her. Once again, start slow. One of the easiest way to start flirting will be through compliments. If you like her new shoes, or if you think that she looks really cute in that hairband, tell her. And once you are more confident about expressing your thoughts to her then you can try some of the more playful forms of flirting. Btw, the trick is to be genuine and natural. If you really like the girl, I am sure that there is something nice that you can say about her.

4. Date. Once you are comfortable enough to flirt with someone, I would think that asking her out for a date is just a matter of finding the right opportunity.

5. Free will. Btw, everyone has the freedom to make their own choices. If she rejects you, it just means that she dun see a fit and not because you have "done something wrong" or you "never execute your plan perfectly". Live with it and move on with life. Continue to be nice to her and maybe she will introduce some nice girls to you.